Auto-Tune the News #11: Pure Poppycock. (ft. Joel Madden)

Описание:

Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental. Find Joel Madden online: http://www.goodcharlotte.com http://www.twitter.com/JoelMadden Mike Penny shreds the shamisen. His YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/mikepenny01 Need more auto-tuned news in your life? Subscribe! Or find us elsewhere: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)! and here: NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag! Gorilla: Damp rag! NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk! Gorilla: Bank Clerk! NF: Who are you? I'd never heard of you! Gorilla: Eat my poo! NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you! But I have no doubt that it's your intention To be the quiet assassin of European democracy. Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium Which of course, is pretty much a non-country. We don't know you, we don't want you! The sooner you're put out to grass, the better! We don't like you, we don't want you! Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong! Bolverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong! Gorilla: Don't make me have to start World War III ! Bolverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD! NG: We don't know you, we don't want you! We don't like you, we don't want you! KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby was surprised to read that he died. JM: How can he read if he's dead? KC: Chief Justice John Roberts was the last to know he resigned. JM: Maybe he should check his head! KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock that proliferated online. JM: I do it all the time, makin up s--- is so sublime. KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader who simply wants to surf the web without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies. JM: You can't protect the web from a--holes like me, shorty! KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool JM: Don't play me for a fool you know as well as I, we're both getting owned by the Both: Rip, riptide of lies pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies Pure poppycock! I want to surf, surf the web without getting pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies! GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding. EM: I I So GB: Explain that one first. EM: Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve, everyone had too much to drink. There were 300 people there, I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her, I grabbed a bachelor. Now they're sayin I groped a male staffer! Yeah, I did! - Um. - Yeah, yeah, yeah! Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub! EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me. Staffers: Naked in the tub! EM:You can take anything out of context! Staffers:Huggin! EM: You can take anything out of context! Staffers: Scrubbin! EM: You can take anything out of context! Staffers: Rubbin and humpin! EM: Yeah! Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin! EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn't breathe, then four guys jumped on me. It's my fiftieth birthday. GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not, An avalanche is coming your way. An avalanche of lies, SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies! KC/JM: Pure poppycock! GB: Whether you're telling the truth or not, SG: you're guaranteed to get caught Both: in an avalanche of lies! Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth But we already drank the brandy My boss tickles me like a true G, He straddles me so masculine No stoppin' when i'm askin' him When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i'm a goner Tryna pretend that i don't notice his boner! Tryna distract him with headlines from China He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina! -------- Staffers: Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall, you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls! You have to be a soldier, a real man, to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand! Ain't nothin wrong with a Massa massage when you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage! The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape Tryna pretend they don't notice when he ejacu- -